Sleep apnea and me! :-)
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I have a sleep disorder called sleep apnea which I discovered a little over a year ago. The experience and process of discovering it was a lengthy battle between paranoia and stubbornness. I am in the last half of my twenties. I am not extremely overweight. I don’t have a really loud snore.Sleep Apnea, in a nutshell, is where people stop breathing during their sleep for extended periods. I used to hold my breath underwater at the pool for fun, but this isn’t as much fun or competition. For a few years I woke up ‘depressed’, angry, short of breath, with headaches, dry mouth, body aching, and unable to think straight. I sought assistance for depression, but nothing helped. Eventually I kind of just gave up. I didn’t know what it was that was creating these symptoms. When I didn’t expect it… I was monitored by an aunt who just happened to hear me snoring on a family beach trip. Her sons had told her to go listen to Ev’s breathing…because it seems to stop. She listened and from there on it was history.Since that discovery, doctors thought I was crazy for suggesting my own diagnosis, then they were wrong (and surprised).
I have had a mask attached to my face for most of the nights in between then and now. These masks create a continuous pressurized air flow into my body and they keep my air passages open for me to breathe.Now there are the daily battles with hissing masks that don’t fit my face, battles with proper humidity in the bedroom, my wife not being annoyed with my incessant movement trying to get comfortable, and the simple attachment of an alien-like appendage to my face.
So all this warrants a question… Do I blame God?
In all honesty, this may be the thing that helps me grow closer to Him than ever before. I am not depressed, never really was…only oxygen starved. I can glorify Him everyday…. because I give it my best shot to thank Him everyday for the blessing of another day with a better attitude… with oxygen in my lungs… with less anger… with less frustration.Paul, who wrote a bunch of the Biblical texts, wrote of a thorn in his side that would not leave him, that God had allowed their to grow him closer in relationship with Him…. Did Paul have sleep apnea? I don’t know. Great question! I certainly believe this is my thorn in my side, to remind me everyday that God is bigger than me… that I am small and He is big… that His love conquers all and I MUST tap into His love in order to properly love others. For true-life I must plug myself into HIM!… I learned this from my daily sleep apnea.
Funny. Only God would think of something like that, right? What is your thorn?
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